At the end of the year so many times we write reflective letters or cards to commemorate the year that was. Including the simple life accomplishments and small and large victories. I had no intention of doing that this year. You, that know me well, are aware that 2010 was far from victorious for me. Without being dramatic it was without a doubt the worst personal year of my adult life. And I'm not here to lament about that. I will say that growing closer to my children and learning more of their hearts has been a great positive.
But as I gave thought to the year, I wanted to at least be able to take a thought or lesson learned from what this year was. And that's when I realized that more than anything I had learned the importance of protecting and looking out for my own heart.
Rescuing it really from what this year tried to crush it with.
I have learned that as the Bible so plainly states it ...we must protect our hearts for it's the wellspring of life. I can say that the arrows that were shot at mine weren't of cupid's doing but that of a sinister spiritual enemy who sought to destroy. With betrayal, selfishness, and abandonment.
Rescuing my heart from the grasp of this destructive force was a conscious choice. Otherwise I'll never be able to move forward towards any kind of a future personally.
If I can speak to anyone that feels like their heart is un-mendable, or too crushed to ever live again ...it doesn't have to be.
God really did make us to live for so much more. More than we imagine. You can forgive and live.
You can stand again and believe in hope once more. You can rescue your heart from the enemies camp. Because God placed His story inside you that he wants told. But it only is told from within your heart.
It doesn't get easier ...but it does get simpler.
Merry Christmas and yeah for 2011!!!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Thursday, September 16, 2010
The False Self Deception
I'm through with false self! You know the guy that we portray to the world that is a facade of the real us? Now I learned of the definition from the writings of Eldredge. So I give proper credit. But until you really experience something that shakes your world-view...I don't think you see the false self exposed.
In this world, that is social media obsessed, no doubt the false selves are easier to maintain. Feeding the animal though is unreal. Because it's living a lie. And when you live a lie you have to keep up with the lies to keep from being found out. So the games are played, and you never really live in a world that makes sense.
This is where God steps in. I experienced the crossroads where He met me on this. I could choose to be less than real or not really care what people thought and be who I am.
See our delusion of grandeur is that we can actually live this way. Hey it's not living ...it's existing.
God shakes us to the core and forces us in to a shift that demands we choose. He won't wait until it's convenient or until we stop spinning the plates. He meets us on this subject when it's inopportune.
I'm through with false self ...he can't live here anymore.
In this world, that is social media obsessed, no doubt the false selves are easier to maintain. Feeding the animal though is unreal. Because it's living a lie. And when you live a lie you have to keep up with the lies to keep from being found out. So the games are played, and you never really live in a world that makes sense.
This is where God steps in. I experienced the crossroads where He met me on this. I could choose to be less than real or not really care what people thought and be who I am.
See our delusion of grandeur is that we can actually live this way. Hey it's not living ...it's existing.
God shakes us to the core and forces us in to a shift that demands we choose. He won't wait until it's convenient or until we stop spinning the plates. He meets us on this subject when it's inopportune.
I'm through with false self ...he can't live here anymore.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Heart
The heart is the well spring of life...so it should be of no surprise to us when the enemy uses the most inopportune times to fire arrows into that heart. In an effort to deplete it of the very thing that was so difficult to obtain. Grace and Margin for those times my friends is the prayer.
Someone asked me yesterday what brought on this post on my Facebook this week. Actually I think it's been a culmination of many months of thoughts, decisions, and life lived.
Really why do we get surprised when we face a big hurdle and the tide seems to be against us? I used to get very frustrated. Almost feeling that I was getting ripped off in those times. I mean I was doing what I knew to do as right ...but the arrows came still the same.
Jesus had great concern for the matters of the heart ...He knew that this was the battleground for the enemy. Matthew 5:8 in The Message "You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world."
So I find myself asking for what I call margin. Just that space ...filled with grace and mercy. For when the arrows come ...cause they will. So we can't lose heart ...stand in that grace ...the margin. That's really where for me, Faith meets reality.
Someone asked me yesterday what brought on this post on my Facebook this week. Actually I think it's been a culmination of many months of thoughts, decisions, and life lived.
Really why do we get surprised when we face a big hurdle and the tide seems to be against us? I used to get very frustrated. Almost feeling that I was getting ripped off in those times. I mean I was doing what I knew to do as right ...but the arrows came still the same.
Jesus had great concern for the matters of the heart ...He knew that this was the battleground for the enemy. Matthew 5:8 in The Message "You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world."
So I find myself asking for what I call margin. Just that space ...filled with grace and mercy. For when the arrows come ...cause they will. So we can't lose heart ...stand in that grace ...the margin. That's really where for me, Faith meets reality.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Travel Thoughts Rewind... from Zambia
Been on the road ...err the air the last week from Canada to Zambia. Today we spent time at Miracle Life Church in Lusaka, Zambia. It's exciting to see the hunger of the people here for the things of God. Tomorrow we will spend time at a minister's conference then some time taping broll of the countryside hopefully. Plenty to come on that but ...
Here are some observations that I have made concerning overseas travel. Some are from my blogging from last year at this time ...and a few I have only recently learned.
-Bottled water is my friend.
-Internet access is always more expensive at the hotels with more stars after their name. Seriously this is something that is really ridiculous.
-No place in America is the traffic even close to how bad it is in Jakarta Indonesia. LA, NY and Houston combined are no comparison.
-A wool suit is not a good idea in Bangkok.
-Eating a Mowpani worm on a dare from a missionary kid is a dare I will take.
-My electric razor dies every time I go to Africa!
-Samoa is Hawaii 100 years ago (before the touristy stuff )
-More and more places are discontinuing postcards.
-It’s harder on the body’s internal clock going east across time zones then going west.
-I love Polynesian/Asian cuisine!
-My rep as a degenerate coffee drinker has led to everyone giving me coffee beans and getting me to the best coffee shops in their city wherever I go!
-I am not interested in a Fish Spa.
-The closer to the equator you get …the better your sunscreen needs to be.
-I am a huge fan of instant coffee. As long as it's the Sbux Via I brought with me
And on a more important note:
We need to daily pray for the challenges that our missionary friends are dealing with …that they would have favor with leaders and have their financial needs met.
Here are some observations that I have made concerning overseas travel. Some are from my blogging from last year at this time ...and a few I have only recently learned.
-Bottled water is my friend.
-Internet access is always more expensive at the hotels with more stars after their name. Seriously this is something that is really ridiculous.
-No place in America is the traffic even close to how bad it is in Jakarta Indonesia. LA, NY and Houston combined are no comparison.
-A wool suit is not a good idea in Bangkok.
-Eating a Mowpani worm on a dare from a missionary kid is a dare I will take.
-My electric razor dies every time I go to Africa!
-Samoa is Hawaii 100 years ago (before the touristy stuff )
-More and more places are discontinuing postcards.
-It’s harder on the body’s internal clock going east across time zones then going west.
-I love Polynesian/Asian cuisine!
-My rep as a degenerate coffee drinker has led to everyone giving me coffee beans and getting me to the best coffee shops in their city wherever I go!
-I am not interested in a Fish Spa.
-The closer to the equator you get …the better your sunscreen needs to be.
-I am a huge fan of instant coffee. As long as it's the Sbux Via I brought with me
And on a more important note:
We need to daily pray for the challenges that our missionary friends are dealing with …that they would have favor with leaders and have their financial needs met.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
The Danger of Hope Lost
I do really believe that there is nothing more dangerous to your heart than when you truly lose hope. I think we all can point to a time in our lives where we really questioned the trajectory of our life. We question the quest or journey we are on.
When confronted with unexpected bumps in the road and failures along the way we ask the dreaded, "How did I get here?" It seems that is when we are in the gravest place of losing hope. Deep within our hearts we find that this is a crushing blow. If our heart loses that hope what then?
The very existence of our dreams seems to be teetering.
I'm reminded of the Fellowship of the Ring quote by Tolkien "The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail ..." Losing hope in one’s heart means leading a life with no purpose. We catch ourselves muttering "what does it matter". So how does one choose to not lose hope? Even when things beyond our control have hammered us? Or people have betrayed and hurt us?
Finding joy.
What? We have to find joy? What does that mean or look like? I like what C.S. Lewis said
"All joy...emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings."
To once again have desire for hope,life,… even to dream we must choose joy. Because it's there that God beckons us to this divine conspiracy awakening our spirit to His desire ...for our dreams.
In Jeremiah 29:11 NCV ..."I know what I am planning for you," says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future."(emphasis mine)
So hope is lost ...when joy cannot be found. Desire for dreaming is missing when joy is forgotten. Nothing is harder in my experiences than finding joy. But, I know I cannot change what I cannot control but I can control what I set my heart to.
Once again C.S. Lewis writes "The very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting."
I believe joy can be elusive ...it needs to be sought after. But finding joy makes all the difference.
When confronted with unexpected bumps in the road and failures along the way we ask the dreaded, "How did I get here?" It seems that is when we are in the gravest place of losing hope. Deep within our hearts we find that this is a crushing blow. If our heart loses that hope what then?
The very existence of our dreams seems to be teetering.
I'm reminded of the Fellowship of the Ring quote by Tolkien "The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little, and it will fail ..." Losing hope in one’s heart means leading a life with no purpose. We catch ourselves muttering "what does it matter". So how does one choose to not lose hope? Even when things beyond our control have hammered us? Or people have betrayed and hurt us?
Finding joy.
What? We have to find joy? What does that mean or look like? I like what C.S. Lewis said
"All joy...emphasizes our pilgrim status; always reminds, beckons, awakens desire. Our best havings are wantings."
To once again have desire for hope,life,… even to dream we must choose joy. Because it's there that God beckons us to this divine conspiracy awakening our spirit to His desire ...for our dreams.
In Jeremiah 29:11 NCV ..."I know what I am planning for you," says the Lord. "I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future."(emphasis mine)
So hope is lost ...when joy cannot be found. Desire for dreaming is missing when joy is forgotten. Nothing is harder in my experiences than finding joy. But, I know I cannot change what I cannot control but I can control what I set my heart to.
Once again C.S. Lewis writes "The very nature of Joy makes nonsense of our common distinction between having and wanting."
I believe joy can be elusive ...it needs to be sought after. But finding joy makes all the difference.
Monday, May 10, 2010
What Legacy as a Godly Man ...?
For a long time I'll admit I've wrestled with this subject. What does it mean to lead in this area? Legacy is defined as "handing down to another". While I can say with certainty that I would want my children to have a legacy from me that was positive I can't say that I always have fully understood how to exactly achieve it.
We are in a Christian subculture with formulas and cliche' sayings that fool us all into thinking that we can just read a book or take a class and presto ...good to go.
Truth is navigating this life parenting and striving to give my kids an example of what a "Godly Man" looks like isn't easy. It also isn't easy to always clearly communicate to my kids what I want them to understand ...after all, they're kids and they can't always grasp it.
So what keeps me awake at night? My seeking the face of God to guide me here ...in this confusing and distracting world. If there is one thing to know about me is that I read ...a lot. And in the Sacred Romance, Brent Curtis and John Eldredge point to the attacks of the enemy towards our soul and spirit as "arrows". Some are flesh wounds, while others pierce deep and get lodged in our hearts. What is the mistake is not taking that wound to Jesus ...admitting and asking Him to be the healer.
See I can't be a whole person to parent or be a friend or a son ...if I don't allow Jesus to heal and remove that arrow. Only He can fill the void in my soul. Only He can lead me in the path that enables me to instruct and raise my children right.
It's in this moment that I can stand against the onslaught of the arrows ...and it's this reaction to it that shows my kids the legacy to be remembered as they embark in this journey. I choose to be the standard bearer for their sake.
It's what God has called each of us who parent to do.
And by the way ...I am still learning and stumble at this like everyone.
We are in a Christian subculture with formulas and cliche' sayings that fool us all into thinking that we can just read a book or take a class and presto ...good to go.
Truth is navigating this life parenting and striving to give my kids an example of what a "Godly Man" looks like isn't easy. It also isn't easy to always clearly communicate to my kids what I want them to understand ...after all, they're kids and they can't always grasp it.
So what keeps me awake at night? My seeking the face of God to guide me here ...in this confusing and distracting world. If there is one thing to know about me is that I read ...a lot. And in the Sacred Romance, Brent Curtis and John Eldredge point to the attacks of the enemy towards our soul and spirit as "arrows". Some are flesh wounds, while others pierce deep and get lodged in our hearts. What is the mistake is not taking that wound to Jesus ...admitting and asking Him to be the healer.
See I can't be a whole person to parent or be a friend or a son ...if I don't allow Jesus to heal and remove that arrow. Only He can fill the void in my soul. Only He can lead me in the path that enables me to instruct and raise my children right.
It's in this moment that I can stand against the onslaught of the arrows ...and it's this reaction to it that shows my kids the legacy to be remembered as they embark in this journey. I choose to be the standard bearer for their sake.
It's what God has called each of us who parent to do.
And by the way ...I am still learning and stumble at this like everyone.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
End of the Hiatus
After a long hiatus ...I return to the blogosphere!
I've been giving a lot of thought to what it means to understand others. Literally when can we say that we extend enough grace to others never considering what it's like to "walk in their shoes". I know that I preach to myself when I say that I have not reserved judgment towards people too often...until we deal with similar issues. Well, then we want all the mercy and understanding of others don't we? Now I realize that everyone is responsible for their actions ...that's not what I'm relating to. What I am specifically referring to is when we come off as though we have it all figured out. When we see a friend dealing with difficulty we are quick to forget what it's like sometimes ourselves. Isn't this what Jesus was talking about when he told the parable of the sower?
The seeds we sow when we are feeling good ...are often reaped when things get dicey. That's when we must continue to press through and withhold judging the situation of others ...remembering that the greatest commandment is to love God ...and secondly love others like we love ourselves.
I want to extend grace ...cause I so often require it in return.
And I don't have it all figured out ...it's not my job to.
I've been giving a lot of thought to what it means to understand others. Literally when can we say that we extend enough grace to others never considering what it's like to "walk in their shoes". I know that I preach to myself when I say that I have not reserved judgment towards people too often...until we deal with similar issues. Well, then we want all the mercy and understanding of others don't we? Now I realize that everyone is responsible for their actions ...that's not what I'm relating to. What I am specifically referring to is when we come off as though we have it all figured out. When we see a friend dealing with difficulty we are quick to forget what it's like sometimes ourselves. Isn't this what Jesus was talking about when he told the parable of the sower?
The seeds we sow when we are feeling good ...are often reaped when things get dicey. That's when we must continue to press through and withhold judging the situation of others ...remembering that the greatest commandment is to love God ...and secondly love others like we love ourselves.
I want to extend grace ...cause I so often require it in return.
And I don't have it all figured out ...it's not my job to.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Recent books I've read and why
I'm not going to go into review mode. However, I wanted to share some thoughts on some recent reads and offer suggestions if you are in the mood to read and maybe learn a thing or two.
-"The Kid Who Climbed Everest"- Bear Grylls
Yeah he's the guy who eats rats and generally trudges around jungles for his survival show. But, before all that he fulfilled a dream to get to the summit of Everest. This is that journey and I enjoyed it immensely. Couldn't put it down 'til I had it read!
-"No More Christian Nice Guy"- Paul Coughlin
Thanks to my friend Shea for recommending this one. I feel very strongly about the culture's role in making men less masculine and relegating them to a "stupid buffoon" and irrelevant in the church. This book addresses the need for men to be good ...not always nice.
-"Love and War"- John and Staci Eldredge
Simple description from this book is that marriage is a "perfect storm". John and Staci detail the trials and battles that we deal with in marriage. And what we can do to create a healthier marriage.
I would love to hear feedback from you if you have read any of these books or any thoughts you have on recommended books.
-"The Kid Who Climbed Everest"- Bear Grylls
Yeah he's the guy who eats rats and generally trudges around jungles for his survival show. But, before all that he fulfilled a dream to get to the summit of Everest. This is that journey and I enjoyed it immensely. Couldn't put it down 'til I had it read!
-"No More Christian Nice Guy"- Paul Coughlin
Thanks to my friend Shea for recommending this one. I feel very strongly about the culture's role in making men less masculine and relegating them to a "stupid buffoon" and irrelevant in the church. This book addresses the need for men to be good ...not always nice.
-"Love and War"- John and Staci Eldredge
Simple description from this book is that marriage is a "perfect storm". John and Staci detail the trials and battles that we deal with in marriage. And what we can do to create a healthier marriage.
I would love to hear feedback from you if you have read any of these books or any thoughts you have on recommended books.
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