Christmas, and why I'm so darn sentimental

I realized this week just how much I love Christmas. I was singing out loud in my truck carols. Really?
Yep I love Christmas. I love the smells, music, decorations....all of it.
But, most of all I love when I see my kids excited about all that too. Seems we too often as adults lose the magic. Caught up in all the gift buying and worrying about the money.
So how about this? Take a minute and remember what you felt as a kid about Christmas....just pause and take a breath. I want my kids to know that the spirit behind the giving is remembering what God did for us many centuries ago.
It's easy to lose sight of the purpose, what with all the "war on Christmas" rhetoric.
After the deep breath determine a new memory to make this year with your family. It's what they remember long after the toys are old news anyway.

In the very journey I find my destiny

     The Holidays bring many things. Delicious food, wonderful sentiments, and time with loved ones. I'm a hopeless romantic at this time of year.
But, for me the last couple years it's brought something else. Questions and comments from former and current family. So as to not be surprised already this year I've found myself pondering on a comment made this weekend. Someone said "you've really held things together Dave". I gave my usual "thanks, I just did what I needed to do" answer. But all day and night I thought...and thought ...and realized this one thing, I can take no credit for "keeping myself together". Truthfully, I am no different than many dad's I've met who are much, much more heroic than me.

    You see, I was just like many. A "Christian Judgmentalist". You know them ...maybe you're one and won't admit to it. I'd see a guy who had a failing marriage and I'd think "what's wrong with him?" or "he's such a bad leader he can't even keep his family together". I judged. I scoffed. I never considered perhaps he was in a great spiritual battle ...and losing. And having his very soul crushed. Nope, I judged him as a loser and a failure. A failure to his departing wife, a failure to his children.

   Then it happened, I was that man.
 Utterly devastated, deeply wounded, feelings of betrayal, and abandonment came to live in my head.
My world was spinning ...I was faced with the greatest fear of failure...for my kids...and my future.
I certainly didn't "feel" like I was very together. No, I felt destroyed.

   So back to the statement "you've really kept it together" ....
No I didn't... HE did. I knew that only pressing on holding God's hand would get me beyond the hurricane. I'm not trying to over spiritualize here, but reality is reality.
Like a paratrooper dropped into Mordor I had to walk ...and walk ...and forgive. Ignore the lies being said about me, walk and walk. Ignore the selfish decisions of another and walk and walk.
I knew if I didn't I would drown in the pain. I would never be able to fight my way back from the dead if I stopped walking. My children needed that stability ...and I cried to God to help me show them that.

    Now please understand. I am not perfect. I made mistakes and I have learned so much of who I am because of it. My God have I learned. My destiny is not wrapped up in the bad decisions of others. My destiny is laying in front of me. For in the very journey I find my destiny. It's in dreams not yet dreamed. It's in love not yet realized.

So I won't be a "Christian Judgmentalist" ever again. It's not my job. It hurts others.
It's my job to be the bearer of truth. For my kids and my loved ones.
To be the giver of grace to those that don't deserve it...because none of us do.
I've been called an oak and an example to other people to press forward. But please hear me,
His Grace is better than I knew it could be. His healing goes deeper than I thought it could. His Love doesn't lose...it wins ...ALWAYS.
    It's doesn't get easier, it gets simpler.

Class Notes Repost:

...here are my main points from the lecture:

Regarding using video in your sermons.

1. Brief and to the point is best.

2. Quality matters (both audio and video).

3. Don’t rely only on the video (things go wrong).

4. Just because you want a video to supplement doesn’t mean you should have one.

5. Video should never replace a sound sermon.

6. Be engaging not distracting.

Tell YOUR STORY!

Nothing relates the message of the Gospel better than personal stories. The Bible is full of such examples.

“A generation ago the question was, “What is truth?” Today, the question is, “What’s the point?” -Billy Graham

Relating to the community on a level that matters to them is paramount to reaching a generation that is increasingly disinterested in all things church related.

Life "Theme Songs"

Music has always been an important part of my life. OK maybe I should re-phrase that. It is woven really deep within who I am. So that being the topic I considered that my life is really a series of theme songs. Certain songs have resonated more than others and it's those that I'd consider my "theme songs".
Looking back I had to ponder. There were specific phases I went through when a genre change happened.
I remember in college so many of us were listening to all that was coming out of Seattle. Then shortly after becoming a young dad it was classic Beatles and the like British pop.
Reflecting over the recent few years I see songs being more a part than genres.

2009 into early 2010 without a doubt was Lifehouse's "Broken"
"I'm hangin' on another day
Just to see what you throw my way
And I'm hanging on to the words you say
You said that I will be OK"



Words that I hung on to, in the darkest of days. Knowing that God wasn't taken by surprise and that hope would rise.

And that leads me to mid-2010 and early 2011
United's "With Everything"
"Let hope rise And darkness tremble
In Your holy light"



In late summer 2011 ....my theme has changed,
Switchfoot "Dark Horses"
"I've made my mistakes
I've seen my heart cave in
I got my scars
I've been to hell and back again

Born for the blue skies
We’ll survive the rain
Born for the sunrise
We’ll survive the pain

[Chorus:]
We’re singing…
Hey, you can’t count us out
We’ve been running up against the crowd
Yeah, we are the dark horses
We’re singing…
Wait! It’s not over now
We’ve been down but we’ve never been out
Yeah, we are the dark horses

....Keep running for the dark horses
Hope makes the blood change courses"




Yeah theme songs they change just like the circumstances of life.
So what's yours? Time for a change?
Or maybe it's time you got one.

Being Daddy Pt.2 "What Song?"

There really isn't an instruction book to being a Father. Oh I know the Bible and many great books have been written but a step by step manual there is not. I was thinking about what Henry David Thoreau said ""Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them." I thought about this and what that means for my children. How can I as daddy help see that the song in their heart doesn't go unsung?
So many times as parents we confuse activity with purpose. What I mean is lots of after school sports and activities is great ...but how does all that tie-in with the purpose or deep dreams within them? Don't stop letting them experience extracurricular events, they're important for many reasons we won't get into here, But, I want to make sure they always dream beyond what they can see just in front of them.

Did you ever imagine being something as a child and have an adult that you trusted shoot down the idea as silly? That is exactly what crushes dreams ...or buries the song deep inside us and we're too ashamed to discuss it because others might see it as unreachable or sad.
I challenge you dads, never ever tell your kids they can't achieve their dreams. Almost as bad as telling them that they're silly is being so busy that you don't listen to them and really hear what they are conveying. Put down the ipad or turn off the TV.
Show them you believe in them ...don't just say the words.

Eldredge says "The Glory of God is man fully alive".
So how can I as daddy help them lead lives fully alive? Live, dream, believe.
Trust the Father of all of us is singing over us.
That's the song in our hearts ...don't let it stay deep within.

Show your kids how to sing it ...by living your life fully alive.

Being "Daddy"

I've thought a lot this week about what my greatest focus has been regarding my kids the past 3 years or so. For reasons I won't re-hash here it's something that I needed to actually "decide" awhile ago due to circumstances of life.
One word that resonated with me was "stability". Sure several other concepts for focus I thought about. But this one was the one that rose to the surface in my heart.
See whether you are a married dad or single one, this should be one of the highest priorities on your list. So what does that mean? Stability?
Maybe it means for you that as a dad you strive to keep roots down in your particular town and same school system, etc.
For me though it was much less "material related". Follow me here for a minute.
Stability meant the actions I had in responding to the negative circumstances around me. Why? Cause little eyes are watching. And how I responded was as important as anything else.
Did I always get it right? Nope. Still don't.
But, my heart knew I must take my call as a dad serious enough that I would run things through the constant filter of "what's best for them". Not what I want.
Now you say that seems pretty simple. Or maybe you think it's just being an adult.
Our society is full of dad's who don't choose anything close to stability for their kids.
Stability means... Unconditional love, integrity in the face of lies, the respect they see me show the women that interact in their lives, and setting aside personal goals for their greater good.
A more fulfilling life journey it has created for me ...honestly.

Stability leads to parenting kids that actually listen and do what's right ...because they see that example in we as dads.
Having kids that listen to you means you must first have kids that connect with you! Be fun, inspire them, believe in them, and point them to Jesus.
Stability for our kids isn't just about providing material needs. It's the life you lead in front of them that so loudly preaches the greatest sermon.

What a difference a year makes

Have your ever really stopped to think about how fast a year passes perhaps after an event? Maybe for you it's the time Christmas to Christmas. Or perhaps it's a memory of a dear loved one's passing? Whether joyful or sorrow filled, time can sometimes just slip away rapidly. I was reflecting on that today. Time flies and it has little to do with anything but our own perception. Procrastination lives in the world where our sensitivity to "spiritualizing our laziness" has numbed us through.
We don't feel anymore, because we don't want to feel something if it's pain.
This is where desire dies. It can't live in that realm. It wasn't meant to.

For a long time I've studied something about myself. When I lose my desire to press into a deeper spiritual walk it's not because I simply got discouraged ...it's that I was strategically setup.
We are opposed in this life. That is not accidental.
"The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist."
- The Unusual Suspects

When we abandon our desire ...we have unsuspectingly given in to the very opposition we thought we were defeating.

Never give up ...it's time to dream again. It's been a year.

Contentment?

I've been thinking about the word contentment lately. It's official definition is "the state of being contented; satisfaction; ease of mind." Yikes! When have I felt much at ease of mind?
I guess I saw it maybe as a failing position in life? You know, I thought to be content is to be complacent or satisfied? Seems that society teaches a similar thought. You know "never stop going full steam ahead." "Keep striving for that brass ring!" lol
So where does God stand on this? Well 1 Tim. 6:6 says "But godliness with contentment is great gain."
So not contentment alone. But godliness with it. It's not enough to be godly. And only being content ...it won't gain you anything either. The two are needed simultaneously.
Seems that Paul was on to something here huh?
I think the reason I've been thinking about this is I sometimes feel like I don't know where things in this life are headed. And I can feel very far from any state of being content. In 2011 I have a desire to be content. I think it's God given ...if nothing else it's heart derived.
Because I don't think any of us can step into the next season He has for us without first being truly content in the one He has us in NOW.
My prayer for you is that you would find His joy, wisdom, favor, and contentment ...this week, month, and the year to come.
I'm a work in progress ...